Never Read the Comments

That was the lesson learned following the publication of this, my first personal essay, on Salon. The hed I used while writing the essay was “Cruising the Cul-de-Sac,” which a very savvy, experienced writer and teacher quickly nixed.

“The first thought an editor reading that is going to have is, ‘Oh, it’s about swingers in the suburbs,’ ” she said when explaining why it’s best to avoid clever titles or subject lines when pitching. “Keep it simple.” (Note: My essay involves neither swingers nor suburbs.)

Following publication, I looked at the comments a total of three times. The armchair analysis that so many of the commentators engaged in simultaneously depressed, amused, and annoyed me. When I started to wonder, “What if they’re right? What if I am severely damaged, narcissistic, pathetic, etc.?” I knew that reading the comments was only going to be masochistic, not enlightening.

So I stopped.